How to make amends to someone you have hurt

How to make amends to someone you have hurt

As humans we all make mistakes

All of us are human, therefore, we all have done things to hurt someone at some point in our life. Whether it is a small mistake or a large transgression, we are aware of it in the small recesses of our mind even many years after the fact. We realize that we need to make amends for those hurts, but how to do it is not easy.

You cannot erase the past. You can only go forward and try to deal with what happened. Admit to yourself that what you did or said was wrong and try to make amends for it.


Step 1

Acknowledge what you did was wrong

In order to make amends you must first acknowledge that what you did was wrong. This may be the hardest part. We often try to say the other person deserved it or that we were just reacting to what the other person did. You must be truly sorry for what happened and take responsibility for it.

Step 2

Make a list of people you have hurt

If there is more than one person that you need to make amends to, make a list. Write down their names and what occurred to make you sorry for what you did.

Step 3

Go slow to begin with

Do not rush into this. Go slow because the person you hurt may not be ready to accept your effort to make amends. Start with a written note, phone call or email. Perhaps a small gift will show that you are ready to show remorse.

Step 4

Be sincere

Above all, be sincere. When the person is ready to see you or talk to you, express genuine sincerity. Offer to make restitution or in some way show you are willing to make things right.

Things Needed
• A genuine feeling of remorse
• A person whom you have hurt in some way
• A list of names if there is more than one person to make amends to

Tips & Warnings
• Remember that only you alone are in control of your actions.
• Do not over do it. Too many words or actions may come across as insincerity.
• If appropriate, you may give a brief explanation as to why you did what you did.
• If the person who you hurt is not accepting of your apology, do not push it.
• It is often much easier to make amends within a few days of the hurt instead of months or years later.


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