How to show someone you love them
While most people can understand the direct words, «I love you,» there are other ways of showing love that you can gear toward someone’s personality. Dr. Gary Chapman refers to how people show and accept love as a person’s «love language.»
The following are some ideas to try based on different types of love languages.
Compliment the person on something that’s important to him or her
Many people go about their day hearing more criticism than words of encouragement and love. Making the effort to say, «I love you,» on a regular basis can have a dramatic effect over time as a relationship grows and develops. Giving compliments—especially in front of other people—can build up the confidence of friends and children.
Surprise the person with a gift
This is not so much about the expense of the gift as the thought put behind it. Spontaneous gifts (outside of birthdays, anniversaries, etc.) have an added effect of being unexpected and show the person was on your mind.
Write notes or messages
This is a little more indirect, but you can leave messages in common places such as desks, rearview mirrors, etc.
Take an interest in what the person enjoys, even if it’s not something you necessarily like
You may have different tastes in sports or movies, but spending quality time together shows your commitment to the relationship. In turn, that person may also end up spending time with you on activities you enjoy.
We live in a world where distractions are everywhere, and a lot of things can fight for your attention in a relationship. Taking the time to really listen to the other person is important and shows that you care.
Do something around the house to free up the person’s time
If the person usually doesn’t have a lot of free time, taking some of the burden off can be a welcomed relief.
Display actions of physical touch
This encompasses not only physical intimacy in romantic relationships but also hugs and any gesture of physical affection.
Be consistent with your promises
If you make a promise to someone, do everything you can to keep it. Otherwise, explain why you can’t make the promise from the beginning. This builds trust and dependability in relationships.
People are not perfect. If someone you love is genuine with an apology and regrets a mistake made against you, be open to forgiveness within reason.