How to avoid falling into an emotional affair
Nine times out of ten, physical affairs began with an emotional attachment two individuals establish amongst themselves.
Unfortunately, if these individuals are in a devoted relationship with others or are just not in the right place and time for a commitment, an emotional attachment or emotional affair is the very last thing they need.
Just as strong — if not stronger — emotional affairs are harder to break and can be easily established through face to face contact, as well as on-line or via telephone.
If it is an emotional affair you desire to prevent, here are a few tips to keep you from traveling down that complicated road.
First and foremost, clear and cut boundaries should be set regarding what level your relationship with the individual will develop into.
Whether it is professional, friendly acquaintance, or platonic, establish a set of rules through your words and actions and stick by them.
Be honest with yourself
Honesty plays a vital role in preventing one from falling into an emotional affair.
Therefore, if you see yourself getting emotionally attached, avoid rationalizing and going on the defense about your feelings. Instead, be honest with yourself.
Think about it: If you have to hide your actions from your significant other, then there is definitely something wrong.
Once you are honestwith yourself, then and only then will you be able to take proactive measure to prevent those emotions from continuing and turning into something deeper.
Avoid compromising situations
Never place yourself, or allow yourself to be put in compromising situations with the individual you may be developing feelings for.
In keeping with the old adage, «If you play with fire, you’re going to get burned, » putting yourself in these situations will only add fuel to the fire.
Be honest with your significant other
If you are already in a committed relationship, be open and honest with your significant other.
Developing an emotional attachment with someone other than the person you are committed to, is a huge red flag signaling that something is seriously lacking in your relationship.
Therefore, communicate with your partner and be open and honest about how and why you feel the way you do.
Instead of daydreaming or fantasizing about what a relationship with this individual could be like, be realistic concerning the negative effects developing an emotional affair can and will have on those important to you and to yourself.
The effects of an emotional affair include but are not limited to:
- Loss of trust, respect, and security from your partner..
- Loss of self respect.
- The stress of living a life full of lies (double life).
- A strong chance of leading to a physical affair.
Once you’ve communicated your feelings with your significant other, get proactive by reestablishing your commitment with each other, and taking steps to work on what led you down this road.
In addition, whether you are in a committed relationship, or are free to date but not in a position to pursue a commitment, here are some further things you can do to get proactive:
- Get a support group — a person or set of people who will provide you with the support you need when you feel as if you are weakening.
- Limit or cut off all association with the individual. This depends on your relationship with the person. If it is a professional one, then communicate only when it is absolutely necessary.
- Never let your guard down. Always keep it in the back of your mind that your feelings could easily develop into other things.
- Occasionally remind yourself about the commitment and promises you’ve made to your significant other.
- Keep a visual reminder of your significant other with you at all times.
- Increase your communication with your partner.
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