How to change a roll of toilet paper

Replacing the toilet paper when the roll is empty

If you discover at the end of your bathroom visit that you have depleted the roll of toilet paper, it is your duty to pull off the empty tube and replace it with a new fresh roll. Neglecting to do so may be cause for personal penalty points (PPP, not to be confused with TP) if you live with other people, especially if at least one of those other people is someone who claims to love you best of all. If on the other hand you live alone, not acting promptly puts you at risk later of having one of those truly «alone» moments.


Step 1

Identify the problem

Open your eyes, if it’s dark, turn on a light. Look in the direction of the toilet paper roll.

Step 2

Note the condition of the roll

If the roll is out of paper, tell yourself that it’s time to change that roll of toilet paper.

Step 3

Remove the empty roll

Grasp the empty roll in one hand, then reach forward with the other to gently pull one end of the rod that holds the roll in its place. Doing so should cause the rod to come free of its mooring and rest in your hand. You should now have a rod with an empty roll of toilet paper in your hand.

How to change a roll of toilet paper
Step 4

Fetch a new roll

Go to that place in your house where you or someone else keeps the toilet paper. Select whichever one is closet and easiest to get to. Grab it and head back to the bathroom.

Step 5

Install the new roll

Slip the holding rod through the hole in the fresh roll of toilet paper then position yourself close enough to the roll hanger to reach it comfortably with both hands. Then while holding the fresh roll on the bar, slip the rod into its former position, being careful to apply just enough pressure on the rod to allow it to slip over the lip of its housing. It should cllick into place.

Things Needed
• Hands
• Eyesight
• Dexterity
• Sense of decency
• Fresh roll of toilet paper

Tips & Warnings
• Be sure to toss the empty roll in the trash can or you risk offending others that may reside in your humble abode.
• Take care to dislodge the glued end of the new roll from the tissue underneath, for the sake of the next visitor.
• Make certain you hang the roll with the end of the roll hanging over the top towards you rather then down the back or it’ll just be wrong.


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