How to get your man to do housework
Although the role of housework has always been associated with the fairer sex, so has baby making and staying at home to prepare meals. Roles have changed. Not only are women expected to compete in the job market, but many men are finding themselves in the situation of being single parents because of circumstance. It’s sometimes a psychological battle because women and men don’t think the same, but once you understand the subtle differences between male and female approach to life, it’s actually very easy to get a man to do housework.
Creating the right atmosphere to talk.
When you have the man’s attention, it’s worth using these minutes to explain your predicament. The man feels they are naturally the protector and provider. Instead of grumbling, to which men don’t respond well, talk over the problem of your workload. The natural response to this for a man is to find solutions. It’s how they are made. If you are working full time as well as them, to provide for the home, don’t rub it in that you are expected to do two jobs. This causes resentment. Let them feel you need their protection and help because you cannot cope with it all. This isn’t criticizing them and that’s vital. If you criticize them, they get on their high horse and do all they can to prove their masculinity including avoidance of household duties.
Seeing the areas where they do things better than you.
Often men make better cooks. They can also have things they do better than you. They love to feel they have one up on you, and you can use this to your advantage. «You do that so much better than I do» is an affirmation which helps them to feel better about what they are being expected to do. Little by little introduce more things that they are better at than you. Here, the problem often stems from the woman feeling her role is compromised by getting help. It isn’t. Step down off the podium you choose for yourself and think of it in a different way, recognizing that you aren’t superwoman and sometimes a man can perform household duties better than you can.
The future aspect.
Often women who are over protective of their men do them no favors. Look at your husband’s life and ask yourself how they would cope with everyday things if something happened to you. No one should make themselves indispensible. It’s a huge error and what it causes is this awful situation where a husband cannot cope in the wife’s absence. Let them try things. Don’t be a doormat or a martyr because it doesn’t help them long term, and one day they may have to learn this the hard way.
Make it fun.
If a man thinks that you believe he cannot do something, he will go out of his way to prove you wrong. It’s a man thing. They don’t like to feel that anyone sees their weaknesses. Tease them in a fun way, and make it a challenge between you. They may just surprise you and be better at doing household chores than you think.
Sharing the load.
No man should do all of the housework. It isn’t fair on them, just as no woman should be expected to do it all. Share the load and decide between you which elements you are best at. Never be afraid to admit you can’t do something. This encourages them to do it, and to feel good about it. It’s a matter of apportioning the work to whoever can do it best, and devising ways to get them to do the things they excel at.
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