How to kiss
The first kiss is a step towards intimacy or the end of the relationship. It should be easy but it’s not, especially for the person who is going to make the first move. How to make that kiss work, make it beautiful and memorable: that is the question.
There are two key steps to the first kiss. The first is dental hygiene. Even someone who wants to be kissed will be turned off by bad breath. No one wants to be kissed by an ash tray or taste the remains of a meal, no matter how good it was. So don’t skip the first step!
The second step is just as important but more subtle. Too many kissers are thinking only about themselves: am I handsome/pretty enough, am I dressed right/ am I doing the right things? None of this matters as much as what the other person is thinking. You must think about the person you want to kiss and work out from their body language whether they also want to be kissed. A kiss takes two. It will never work if the other person does not want to be kissed. It is better to wait than to ruin the first kiss.
Floss, brush, clean
Brushing teeth is important but not enough on its own. The toothbrush does not get between the teeth where bad breath bacteria lurk. For that, you need floss. If you don’t know how, ask your dentist but learn to do it and floss before a date. Also, and this cannot be stressed enough, scrub your tongue with your toothbrush. The tongue is a rough, wet surface that also harbours bacteria. If you take your date out for dinner before the kiss, carry breath mints with you as well, in case you chose the garlic dish and they didn’t.
Learn to read body language
The kiss isn’t so much about you and your desires as it is about the other person. Do they want to be kissed and how can you tell? Look in their eyes. Do they look back? Move towards them. Do they move in or away?
If the person wants to be kissed, they will look back, move closer, raise their face towards you. If they do not want to be kissed, there will be signals that indicate their reluctance. Instead of thinking about what you want, concentrate on your partner and what they want. And if the signals are that they don’t want to be kissed, DON’T! It’s better to wait than blow it on someone who doesn’t want it. That doesn’t mean give up, but go back to flowers, chocolates and loving words.
It’s time. Your breath is fresh, your partner is giving all the ‘kiss me’ signals. Now what? Move in slowly with the softest of kisses. Brush your lips against theirs. If the signals have been read correctly, the person will respond. If not, back off.
Each step now should be taken softly and slowly. You don’t want to bump them or hurt them. Soft is best. You can always go hard later when you are both more experienced. For now, ending with wanting more is better than going too far.
Once your lips are meeting, you can test the waters with your tongue but if the person pulls back, stop. Some people like this next step, others are turned off by it. Again, it is better to stop than ruin the experience by being rejected. You must be totally aware of the other person’s reactions and wishes for the kiss to work.
Find someplace comfortable for intimacy
The best place for a first kiss is not in a car or the middle of the dance floor, although those places may work. Someplace secluded, warm and intimate is best. A comfortable couch in a living room where no one else is around works very well. Think about this step and try to arrange to be in a suitable place when the time is ripe to initiate the kiss.
This again depends on your partner. What do they want next? A warm, enfolding hug is a good way to continue and then another kiss if they are hugging back and indicating that they want more. You have to judge the situation by their response: continue if it is appropriate and stop if they are saying No. It is always better to leave them wanting more than going too far.
If the person needs a bit of space, turn to intimate conversation instead. This is easier than it sounds. Simply ask the person about themselves. Most people love to talk about themselves if given the chance. Find something you have in common and talk about it. While they talk, touch them gently, stroke their hair or their cheek. When their signals indicate they are ready, initiate the second kiss. If the chemistry is right, it should all flow smoothly from there.